Every time there's a post by the owners of DW about an influx of people, I'm sceptical. Now don't get me wrong, I really like this site, otherwise I wouldn't keep coming back even after prolonged absences, but blogging/journaling is just not the same as Twitter/tumblr/Bluesky or any other modern social media site. This time people seem to be coming from Bluesky because of the recent changes (I deleted my bsky account more than a year ago and have only been following the drama sporadically), but blogging and tweeting (whatever those posts are called on bsky) just aren't the same thing. The whole environment is different, so is the way you interact with people. And tbh, I personally wouldn't be happy about an influx of violent r*pe art and people who want to curate purity-spiralling bubbles where no dissenting opinions are allowed anyway, but that's just me. But we'll see how things will develop. Unfortunately, any influx of users in the past due to such dramas seems to have been short-lived. Most people making accounts never even post once and if you click through accounts and communities, so many have less than a handful of posts before they fall forever silent.

Anyway, I got my flu vaccine today and I can already feel a headache coming. Since I'm quite sure I'll sleep badly tonight I'm going to work from home tomorrow. Today, the intern wasn't in the office, so it was a good day. Yesterday she was absolutely insufferable again. Not even rewatching that Alastor music video over and over could help with my mood. It only improved when I got home and watched episode 4 of Hazbin Hotel. And later I'll watch episode 5, yay! :3

I also finally started writing a new story. It's just that I still haven't recovered my writing voice. I used to be able to really connect to the characters I'm writing, to *be* inside the story. Yet now this distance persists and I don't know how to bridge that gap. I'm still passionate about writing, I love it, but... idk, it's just not the same anymore. I miss that feeling of when my muse used to grab me and I was just typing furiously, knocking out thousands of words a day, unable to stop thinking about it until I was done. I haven't experienced that in such a long time now and I'm starting to fear that I'll never get my passion back. Muse, why have you forsaken me? Please come back! QQ It's really tough...

I'm ever so slightly (read: a lot) obsessed with my new blorbo from Hazbin Hotel. It's also so predictable, I really do have a type. But what can I say? Alastor has mesmerised me, and I'm only three episodes into the show, lol. It's fun though, it really is. I'm ignoring all the bs I'm coming across online, I'm not even sure I'm going to check out any of the additional material there is for the show. I'm just watching it on Amazon Prime and having a blast. <3

Same with Shuten Order. Yesterday I played through Day 2 and most of Day 3 of the Ministry of Health route. What's left now is the last puzzle, and escape room, where you're not able to save in between, which means that I'll probably wait until Wednesday before continuing. I agree that with the people who say that route is rather weak, but then again, they also added a pet peeve of mine which immediately makes me rank that route low. I wouldn't have minded in the past, but nowadays I bristle whenever I come across a character like that. It's okay though. I'm still loving the game a lot.

After finishing "Les liaisons dangereuses" I picked up a book by the new Nobel prize winner Laszlo Krasznahorkai. I decided I'd go with the English instead of the German translation because I just don't trust modern German translations. I'm around fourty pages in and that author is the final boss for the majority of English speaking readers you find online. This guy not only does amazing run-on sentences, he also refuses the use paragraph breaks. The first chapter didn't have a single paragraph. And I'm loving it. How often do you find people online whining about a fanfic that has paragraphs longer than two sentence or slightly more complicated grammar. They'd break down crying if they had to Krasznahorkai. It's great!

This is huge for my own writing. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not comparing my own shitty writing with that of a nobel prize winner, I wouldn't dare. What I mean is that I'll no longer let the voices of barely literate online people dictate how I can or can't write. I'm a big fan of long sentences. And if you read, say, Jane Austen, you'll see that English speaking authors used to write long sentences too. It's only fairly recently that we're getting this message shoved down our throats that we mustn't use long sentences and use way too many paragraphs. From now on, I will no longer care, especially since I'm not posting online anyway.

This is another realistation I had when I was going through my fandom crash-out. The average person you come across online, if they aren't a bot anyway, are just... average, to phrase it politely. Their reading comprehension is bad, so is their media literacy, and you can be sure that they'll completely misinterpret your favourite character. No longer will I let people like that influence my own decisions.

As for the plot of the book, the atmosphere reminds me of some Austrian authors I've read. I can already tell it's not going to be my favourite, but maybe it'll at least be entertaining. We'll see.

I really want to watch the next episode of Hazbin Hotel... QQ

WARNING: Genshin spoilers ahead! Better skip this entry if you want to go into the new AQ completely blind.

I'm still so excited over the upcoming Genshin changes. The Mondstadt buff (though it is sadly only for some characters and not all; Diluc will still have to wait, I guess) has been long overdue, and I really hope it'll mean that the buffed characters will be usable in endgame content. Tbh, I'm not happy that Albedo is now powercreeping Chiori, but I have her at C4 and will get her to C6 on her next rerun, so she'll take him as her off-field support, I'm sure. ;)

The prospect of dps Venti is still wild, though. But have you seen his new NA animation? Oooooh! As if we needed more proof of his relationship to Istaroth. On a more serious note, it's nice that they're doing at least something for his animations because they are so much less shiny than what the newer units got (same with the rest of the Mondstadt characters).

Albedo's flower no longer breaking is big too. I'm also quite tempted to get his C1 from the constellation selector now. It's really hard to decide. I have set the path to Cyno's C1 because he's my favourite after Venti and really needs to be spoiled, but Albedo's C1 is now actually good! So is Mona's C2 apparently (I have her at C1). So whom do I pick? I have one more week to decide, but aaah. It would feel like a betrayal not going for Cyno's con, but... but... We'll see. The husband is watching so many theory crafters, maybe one of them will have made a video on the character buffs by next week.

Now I want more buffs though. Like Zhongli. Or a whole bunch of Inazuma characters. I got Yoimiya and two copies of Ayato from whaling for Chiori back in spring. Maybe when they get buffed they'll acutally be useful? I levelled Ayato for IT now (only to 80 though) and tbh, I don't like his design at all. Well, I don't like his character either, but I also dislike Kaveh and still levelled him for IT, so that doesn't matter to me. But I guess it's going to be a while before we get to potential Inazuma buffs anyway.

One good thing: according to the leaks, Escoffier won't rerun in 6.2. I'm safe for now. I still don't know if I'll get her anyway (she's also one of those characters I actually don't like). After Durin and Venti, I will want to save for Chiori's rerun (assuming we'll get another Inazuma chronicled banner before 7.0) and maybe Sandrone. I know I said I wouldn't get a Fatui character and her personality is extremely anime-tropey, but idk, I kind of like her. I prefer female characters who aren't uwu demure and simp for the Traveller. That's why Chiori is my absolute favourite female character in the game. She doesn't take shit from anyone. I love you, my girl! <3<3<3

As for the AQ, I did 2/3 of Act 3 yesterday. I'm enjoying it a lot. Love Tholindis too, but I do find Rerir's backstory a bit lame. I'm curious what will happen to him. My guess is that somehow Tholindis will talk sense into him (either through a memory or they [Columbina? Flins?] find a way to actually summon her spirit). We'll see.

No disrepect to my girl Tholindis (you deserved better!), but I do like the Flins/Rerir fanart Japanese artists have been churning out. Anything is better than Varka/Flins, anything. To use internet slang I'm way too old to use, Varka's such a roidpig, I find him gross. I also dislike his VA and his personality doesn't appeal to me either. All the better, I need to save my primos for my girls. Also, there's Illuga, who could potentially be interesting (though we don't even know if he's a 4 or 5 star).

Ah, one more thing. I LOVED seeing the House of Hearth siblings at the research facility. LYNEY!!! <3 I hope I'll see them again over the course of Act 3 and 4. Fingers crossed!

I can't wait to get home tonight!

The incoming 6.2 leaks have me more excited for Genshin than I have been in a very long time. Not only does Durin look so, so good - his design, his animations, everything, he's just so cute! - but those character buffs are amazing. Sure, they're not game breaking and won't suddenly catapult the old Mondstadt units to the top of the meta rankings, but I'm taking anything I can get for Venti and Albedo. It's a bit weird that Hoyo decided to buff Venti by making him a main dps with a new signature weapon (and I just got Elegy in spring...), but hey, sounds fun! And Albedo potentially rivalling Furina's buff is really cool, if it's true and they don't still nerf him over the course of the beta.

I was briefly thinking of getting Escoffier after Durin in 6.2, but now my wish list looks like this:
Durin - Durin's weapon - Venti's new weapon - Venti's C1.
It's entirely unrealistic as atm I have a whooping 10k primogems, but will see how far I'll get how much I'm willing to spend. I feel like because Venti is my absolute favourite, I should show my support for him. But we'll see. 6.2 hit on December 3rd, I'll save up every single primogem until then (and budget my Christmas money, lol).

But yay, exciting! :D

I still don't think the game is going in the right direction with no new map in 6.2 either and Hoyo shilling the new UGC mode so hard, but I'm not going to be ungrateful either. I love the old characters and I love Durin, so I'm definitely looking forward to December.

The only thing I'm sad about is that Durin isn't using his wings for flying. Really? That's lazy. For people who want to use a glider on him, sure, give them the option, but the default should be that he uses his wings when he's using them in battle?!

<3<3<3 Venti buffs! <3<3<3

I do think that the longer a franchise has been dormant and the longer it's been since a character got any new (canon) content, the more their depiction in fanish content tends to suffer. Especially if this character wasn't in the spotlight to begin with and thus only had very little to go on.

The problem you have when no new energy (in the form of canon depictions) is being infused into a fandom, that most scenarios and ideas will already have been explored down the line. Most people will then move on to greener pasture, especially nowadays when too many move from popular fandom to popular fandom for online clout, but those who remain not only stick together and form a fandom-defining clique, but they also need to come up with new stuff if they don't want to just rehash the same few scenarios (or go completely AU, which simply isn't everyone's cup of tea).

And that where imo characterisation starts to suffer. You've moved so far from canon by a certain point that the character simply becomes OOC. Basically "owning" this character with together with your clique made up of like-minded people means there won't be anyone around to point out canon to rein you in when an idea takes you too far from their established character.

I guess it's clear that I'm talking about Hux. Since his last appearance in TROS, the only content with him we've got since 2019 is the (imo bad) Legacy of Vader comic, where he's playing an insignificant role. What doesn't help him is that his characterisation across the ST wasn't always consistent.

However, I do think that from all the canon content he's been in, we can deduct a few things about his character, about how he is, what he'd do and what he absolutely wouldn't do.

I'm not the fandom police, so everyone can do whatever they want, but I do look at some of the depictions that have become more popular and have to raise an eyebrow.

To me, Hux is self-confident and prideful, some might call him a nepo baby, but given that his father hated him, I don't think he'd get where he was without having some merits that Snoke acknowledge. Stars, even Kylo Ren, who makes no secret about how much he loathes Hux, admits that he needs him around. So he's definitely competent too. Is he infallible, is he always action rationally - no. He's not. He's also not the most courageous, but a little bit of fear has never stopped him from pursuing his goal.

He's also spiteful and his horrible childhood won't have left him unscathed, but I would argue he's holding himself together surprisingly well for what he's been through.

What I think canon does show us it that he ISN'T a psychopath. He ISN'T a narcissist. Though it's from the shitty LoV comic, we see a Hux who's rallying his subordinates, telling they are all important cogs in the machine, they're all heroes, not just him. Sure he could be manipulating him, one could argue, but why would he? He knows these men are trained to be loyal and adhere to orders. They also have nowhere else to go, so why would he need to praise them? I'd say the Order is more stick than carrot. He also doesn't strike me as a sadist at all, that's more Kylo Ren. And please, can we stop having every evil character commit sexual violence? It's not deep, it's especially not sexy, and a character really doesn't have to be a rapist for the audience to understand that he's not a good guy.

But those who think they "own" Hux now can't see that. They're so deep in their cosy little bubble with all their friends, just reading each others' fics (while intentionally ignoring those by people not part of their clique) and increasingly escalating the kink and OOC-ness. Thing is, they might think they own Hux and that they're oh-so-deep for coming up with all these twisted scenarios, but fact is, they've made him unrecognisable.

Anyway, I needed to get this off my chest.

Now I'll go and consider my own depiction of him.